20. Blog Final Evaluation

Writing this blog has been a positive experience. Perhaps I will continue it from time to time. Perhaps as often as I wrote the first two months I was supposed to. These posts always took last priority because there was always so much time to finish them in. Then this last week, the date snuck up on me, and I realized I had 16 blog entries to write in half as many days.

Never fearing, I determined that I would just write two a day until I was done. Then this weekend, I still had 8 to go, and no time to do it in. I was a bit unhappy, but figured I still could procrastinate until the morning it was due. As I was driving home with a friend on Saturday night, I joked that the takeaway I would write about in my evaluative conclusion was going to be that procrastination was okay.

Fate had other ideas.

Yesterday, when I still had multiple posts to write, I pulled out my computer to write my little brother who is on a mission. A few minutes later, the screen went blue and I knew my computer was a goner. Then the realization hit me that so too was any hope I had of tranquilly finishing my blog posts before writing class time.

Thus it was that I got up early and was walking the 15 minutes to the library this morning in the snow and the dark. Luckily for me, there are still 24 minutes until I need to go to class, so I suppose procrastination is still sort of okay. But the real lesson here is that it's not. You never know what is going to happen to your computer. Preparation is the key to success, not waiting. What if the library opened at 8, instead of 7? I would have had an hour less to do this in. What if the internet in the library had been down because of the snow storm? There are hundreds of additional misfortunes that could have befallen me (and hopefully won't in the next 24 minutes....) And what about breakfast?!

Planning things out and getting them done in a timely manner is better than waiting until necessity plans them for you - hopefully.

But all things considered, I have enjoyed this blogging assignment. I have appreciated the opportunity to write down my thoughts and feelings, to think about them and develop them. Unfortunately, my procrastination severely restricted my creative ability: you can't rush genius. Again, don't procrastinate, you'll perform better.

19. A Review of My Personal Narrative

Today I posted the final version of my personal narrative. This assignment was difficult, though writing it was easy. The difficult part was finding an experience I wanted to write about, then determining how and what parts of the experience to write. I would like to add a few comments to the paper. 

If there is any one period in my life which has changed me, it was my mission. I knew that was probably the best option for this paper. Of course, the first time you leave home always leaves a mark, as does the first time you live in a foreign country with a bunch of strangers. But more than simply teaching me to live on my own, cook Italian food or speak the Italian language, my mission had a profound impact on the way I see people who are different. People who are sad. People who are poor. People who suffer in ways that I probably never will. And it changed the way I see my relationship with them, as well as God’s relationship with all of us.

This change came slowly as numerous events reinforced each other and built upon my preexisting outlook. Some of my favorite experiences on my mission were not generically "successful" missionary experiences. No baptisms. No commitments kept. Just people who were happier as a result of what I'd done. For sure, the baptisms and real spiritual progress were amazing as well, and that is what I sought for on my mission. However, on my mission I saw more than ever the many ills that are in the world. How many people who are totally alone in the world, and will talk a missionary's ear off for an hour while standing in the rain if you let them. How many widows need someone to vent to, or how many forgotten grandmas just need someone to care for a few minutes. How many people have had a life of misfortune and hate, and are powerless to fight it. How many people have allowed the facades of "happiness" to rob them of even the smallest particle of joy. I am essentially the same person I was before, but now at least slightly more sympathetic.

I had plenty of experiences I could have drawn on in writing my personal narrative. I finally settled on a period of time I spent in Toscany. This period was transformative for numerous reasons, not the least of which is that it was the first time that I really became a missionary. I had been junior companion to quite experienced missionaries for my first four transfers, then I got a surprise call from the APs, informing me that I would be transferred to a new area to "bottle-break" a new missionary (replace his trainer after the new missionary's first two transfers) and become district leader of the small Prato district. I suddenly had responsibilities not only for my own behavior, but for my companionship and district. My companion was amazing. We worked hard and had a lot of fun. Six weeks later though, I got another surprise phone call from president, calling me to train a new missionary. Again, my resolve increased with the new responsibility, and we worked harder than ever.

It was in this situation that my story takes place. With all of our hard work and effort, we were seeing but few results of the progressing investigator variety. We spent a lot of time working but it seemed that no one else spent any time listening.

Furthermore, in Prato I had effectively my first exposure to the crisis of immigration, fear of terror attacks, deep moral degradation both in society and among the religious, and other vices of the world. I initially attempted to portray all of these facts in my personal narrative by telling the story of what was a pivotal train ride, when all of these things were weighing heavily on my mind after a rough day of fighting it. I will spare the details of these experiences here as I did in the narrative.

Instead, I chose two experiences I had with individuals from very different worlds: a homeless refugee from Africa, and a sophisticated gentleman who was the only person I ever met who actually used the supremely honorific form of address while addressing us. The juxtaposition of these two individuals is meaningful to me, because it represents the common thread running through all peoples' lives regardless of their identity and social standing. Felix, as I have named him, had nothing. He was nothing in the eyes of many who saw him every day. He was uneducated as they come, a mechanic by trade. Mario, on the other hand, had everything: family, friends, money, respect, education. Yet they wrestled with the same problems, and struggled to find faith in the same being. And their lack of faith led them both to be unhappy. No matter who you are, peace comes from within.

That is the peace I found on that train ride I left out. God taught me that lesson as I was honestly in a very depressed state of mind. He showed me what the world creates through its filth, then showed me what He only could create through His love.

There are many other lessons I could write, many experiences to recount, but this is the moral of the story. Maybe if I have time I'll come back and continue.

18. My Personal Narrative - Finding Peace

The following is the personal narrative story I wrote for my Writing 150 class. All names have been changed order to protect the privacy of the characters involved. The events of this story are true, and represent a sampling of experiences I had over a longer period of time arranged for brevity. Check here for more explanation.

---

We finally found a place to sit on a dirty bench in Felix’s favorite train station shelter. It was as much a home as anything he had, and he passed a lot of time there. As we usually did upon meeting Nigerians, we tried to connect with him by trying to make some small talk in Nigerian pidgin, or “broken” English. This time, though, it aroused only the faint trace of a smile from our downtrodden acquaintance. Quickly moving on, we asked him to introduce himself. Of course, that meant asking how he got to Italy.

“In Nigeria, we have census days, but the government is no good, it is all corrupt. The census is dangerous! I was driving my car around with a megaphone, telling people not to go. The police saw us and started shooting.” It was a great beginning to our first lesson with Felix.

“The first bullets hit my friend in the front seat and he was gone. The other man in the back seat jumped out of the car and started to run, but he never had a chance. Then a bullet entered my thigh and I could not drive. Look.” He rolled up his dingy pant leg and indicated a large, white circle of a scar just above his knee. “They stopped my car, and threw me to the ground. I was helpless so they could not shoot me anymore, but they used their steel boots to kick me and made me bleed. I still have scars here!” He gently ran his hand, over his large, bald head, which was crossed by several nasty scars.

“Then what did they do to you?” I asked.

“They took me to the hospital, and the doctors began looking at me. But the police were angry at the doctors, because they could did not come to the survey, and tried to arrest them. So, there was a big fight in the hospital and all the doctors left the room. I got out of bed, dragged myself to a window, and jumped out. I hid myself in a hole on the other side of the fence.”

I slowly shook my head. I could only imagine him leaping from the window, dragging himself to edge of the premise and somehow making it over the fence, covering himself with leaves and dirt under some shrubbery.

A simple “wow” was all I managed in reply.

“When it got dark I went to my friend’s house and woke him up. He lent me some money and I left. Now I am here.”

I knew that he had skipped over what may have been the most gruesome part of the story, considering the many stories I heard from refugees at least weekly about crossing the Sahara, surviving as a Christian African in war torn Libya, and crossing the Mediterranean. Death lurked behind every corner and mortality rates were high enough to sober any listener.

Sighing, I began the process of expressing our sympathy, offering any comforting words that we could, making clear our purpose as missionaries, and bearing testimony of the goodness of Jesus Christ. It was apparent though that he was under too much stress in his homeless position in life, far from family and without hope of redress. It would take time and patience for him to understand.

All too soon, a familiar ding-dong tone informed us that our train was about to arrive. We wrapped things up with a final testimony and a quick prayer, then sprinted to the platform and jumped on the train. Our lesson with Felix had taken its toll, and we settled into an empty seat compartment to watch the glorious green landscape rush by. It was a welcome reprieve on the eyes, but it couldn’t erase the image of Felix sitting despondently alone in the station or the pain I felt in my heart for him and the hundreds of other people we talked to every week.

It was a long ride back to Pistoia.

Only one more lesson. . ., I thought, then couldn’t help somberly adding, if he’s actually there.

---

“Guys, I simply cannot believe it. The God of Jesus Christ is not the God that we see in reality. It is more the God of Moses. He was called Jehovah, and He was a jealous and terrible God. He commanded the Israelites to destroy entire civilizations! I don’t believe in that God. Nor can I believe in the Father espoused by Jesus Christ.”

Mario’s sophisticated speech and highly respectful form of Italian never wavered, but the combination of frustration and despair in his voice were evident as he continued to make his case. “If deity is as merciful as Christ proponed, why then would He permit innocent children to perish daily? He wouldn’t. I can not believe in Jehovah or the Father. I can’t believe in these gods. . . . I believe in something, in the divine, but not them.”

I chafed at the oft repeated example of the innocent babes, wondering why those with this qualm rarely cite the thousands of injustices I saw around them every day. I had been in this situation before, but this time it was more personal. My chest was tight, as if my own wrestling with the problem of wickedness and injustice was squeezing the words directly from my heart.

            “Mario, I know that God lives. The scriptures are at times unclear and incomplete, yes. I agree, and you surely know them better than I do. Yet they are just one of many witnesses I have of God’s reality. The most important of these witnesses is that of the Holy Spirit, and the influence that God has personally on my life. I know that God is perfectly just, and perfectly merciful. I have seen this in my own life. The injustices of the world are not due to the apathy of God; they are due to the apathy of mankind. He cares.”

            “But many do trust in God!” Mario interrupted. “Some of the best, most believing people I know have suffered more than anyone – at the hands of the unjust! Why would God allow that?”

            “It’s true,” I conceded. “Some of life’s pain is innate to our mortal existence. God sent us to earth to learn, and part of that means experiencing a mortal body. We’ll have to talk about that another time. You are correct though, many times the righteous suffer because of the wicked. God respects the choices of His children. Just as He will not force you or I to do good, He will not prevent the wicked from making bad decisions. However, all of that will be made right through Christ in the end. I know that. I have already felt Christ’s healing and reassurance in my own life.”

            “I suppose,” Mario said quietly, obviously not convinced.

“I know it can be difficult to accept. At times I question it as well. But I know that God lives. If we all collectively turned to Him, the world would be perfectly just and peaceful. However, the most any one of us could do is our own part. After that, we must trust in God.”

            Mario’s head slowly shook back and forth. “I envy you. I wish I could see that too.”

            “You can,” I promised, “but you have to try.”

            The conversation went on like that: Mario presenting the usual excuses (“I’m too old,” I’ve already tried,” “it takes a certain kind of person,” “but this scripture here. . .” – the list is endless), and we the usual testimonies. A short time later, it was time to excuse ourselves.

            “Thank you for coming,” he said, graciously showing us past his ornate front room to the door. “You are amazing young men. I don’t know what I believe in, but I believe in something, and it’s thanks to people like you. I don’t need Matthew, Mark, Luke or John. I met you. Because of you, I believe in Jesus Christ. Perhaps someday I will understand how. Thank you.”

            “Thank you.” I bowed slightly, acknowledging the praise. “We’ll talk to you later.”

            And with that, he closed the door.

           

---

In the 14 months until I finished my mission, I never forgot those words. They stayed with me, giving me strength and inspiration. They drove me to work harder, but to give more time to individuals. They were the capstone to my epiphany. I knew God loves His children. He cares about them. Each one of them is important to Him, and He wants to help them, though even the most pious of souls are subject to the ills of life. I wanted to make a difference, but I realized that one man can’t change the course of an entire river. He can, however, make a difference in the lives of at least some of those who are helplessly being swept downstream, frantically grasping for something to hold on to, if only for a moment.

            And that’s good enough for me.

17. Effectiveness in a Blended Learning Environment - Part V: Be an engaged learner

Recap: This is the last of a five part series on education in the twenty-first century, dealing with a problems and advantages in a blended learning environment. In parts one through three we discussed the advantages of technologically aided blended learning in enhancing effectiveness in the memorization and understanding phases of learning and in part four we briefly mentioned the potential drawbacks relating to the regurgitative learning process as impacted by blended learning. In this final post we will discuss perhaps the change with highest potential for both gain and loss in the educational system.


The other day, I was sitting in my religion class. I can't remember exactly what we were discussing, but it included a discussion on the etymology of some word and its Hebrew translation. The fact that I don't remember what that word was or why we were discussing it is strange, considering that I find that sort of topic fascinating. However, this day I was distracted by something the professor said in his introduction of the topic.

As he was writing the Hebrew on the board he said something to the effect of, "now, if you've taken our Hebrew class, you know what this word means. Otherwise, you don't so just hang tight."

OK, I remember what the word was. It was שמש, or shemesh, which means "sun." I remember now because I was slightly bothered by the fact that I shouldn't know what that word means, because I haven't taken "their" course in Hebrew. Yet I did know what it meant. Why? Because education in the 21st century is less connected to the traditional classroom than ever before.

The purpose of this post is not to tell how or why I learned that word. The scope of that story is to illustrate an unfortunate mindset that seems to lurk in the minds of some people: that an education is somehow not a personal responsibility, and that whatever we need to know will be imparted to us by our professors and then we move on. The corollary of this idea is that whatever we learn we must be taught.

In the past, this was partially true, especially in the days we first considered in this series before books and learning supplies were easy to come by. If you wanted to know something, you found someone who knew or figured it out yourself. Today all I have to do is ask Google, and answers begin falling into my lap. And I don't mean just trivia and tidbits. I mean meaningful understanding and applications.

My deep interest in blended education and reform was ignited when I attended an entrepreneurship seminar at Snow College at which David Wiley was the guest speaker. David Wiley is an innovator in the educational arena and a proponent of open education. The idea is exactly what I said in the previous paragraphs: you don't have to enroll in a formal, traditional course to learn something. This is in fact the premise of Degreed, a "lifelong learning platform" he helped found, whose mission is to "jailbreak the degree."

During his presentation, he introduced us to this platform and demonstrated how it could be used to organize a portfolio of learning from many different sources. Sources I'd never heard of before with strange names, such as Udacity and Coursera. 

I was enthralled. I immediately went home, skipping the rest of my "real" classes and signed up. With these resources which are "blended" to the maximum extent of the word, I have learned about game theory, astronomy, computer science, physics and more, all without setting foot in a brick and mortar classroom or paying a dime.

This is the world that awaits us: a world of "open," universally accessible, and applicable education.

What remains to be seen is if and how we will implement it. There are many problems to face: how can formal education (a fantastic environment for creative learning and innovation) and open education (the ability for anyone to learn anything, anywhere) coexist?

And more importantly, will we accept it? As in any area, as our power increases, so does our responsibility. Learners in the 21st century must be more proactive than ever. No one is going to make you sign up for a course on Coursera. No one is going to be watching over your shoulder as you complete your flipped classroom work at home, where the incentive to cheat or shirk is going to be higher than ever. Forcing this behavior is neither feasible nor possible. The solution is a dramatic paradigm shift in our educational system, where extracurricular learning and creativity is the norm, not the deviation. If we can do so, society will prosper as its members educate themselves through all channels in a responsible manner. If this does not occur, we will see an ever widening gap between those who are proactive and successful and those who are not.

Of course, this decision will not be made collectively, but as individuals personally chose to be proactively engaged learners or not. My hope is not only that our educational infrastructure will effectively integrate the opportunities presented us by the modern blended learning environment, but that the individuals of our society will allow that system to flourish through their proactive and engaged learning mindset.

16. Starting Christmas Right

Last night I went and saw a performance of Handel's Messiah for the first time. It was actually a Utah Symphony "sing-in" performance, meaning that the audience was invited to participate with the chorus pieces. It was thus a doubly good experience.

I love this aspect of Christmas. Christmas is about Christ. Though the commercial world vies for our attention at every possible opportunity, attempting to distract us from the divine to the selfish, the true motive of Christmas is remembering Christ: His birth, His life, and His divinity. He truly was a gift to all mankind.

Perhaps my favorite part of the performance was the Air for soprano "I know that my Redeemer liveth." It is based on Job 19:25-26 and 1 Corinthians 15:20. The text is as follows:

"I know that my Redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day 

upon the earth. And though worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall

I see God. (Job 19:25-26)

For now is Christ risen from the dead, the first fruits of them that

sleep. (1 Corinthians 15:20)" (as per Lyrically)

Both of these are among my favorite scriptures. I really appreciate that the meaning of Christmas is not only that Christ was born, but that He lives! Because though He died, He rose from the dead, and is but the first fruits of them that slept, "for as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive" (1 Corinthians 15:22, quoted in the following movement, "Since by man came death
by man came also the resurrection"). Christmas (together with Easter) is a special time of year to remember and celebrate this loving and miraculous sacrifice.

I love the simple testimony of Job: "I know that my Redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth." I hope that this Christmas season we will all ponder this basic truth and our own feelings on the matter. I know He lives. Despite the debatable beginnings and numerous exterior influences which even today are influencing the tradition of Christmas, the holiday is an opportunity for me to remember and relish this fundamental truth. I promise that the more we do so, the more meaningful joy and peace we will find in this special time of year.

15. Family

This week for Thanksgiving we finally got a short break from the infinite grind of schoolwork. It comes just in time for me to relax then realize that finals are going to start in less than 2 weeks. But it was an blissfully ignorant two weeks of not thinking about school, homework, work, etc., but to just be at home with my family.

Though I lived with my family for two months between my mission and school, I'm still hit by the craziness of family life every time I go home. This was the first time that I was there for more than a day or two, and it was awesome. Like I said, crazy, but in a good way.

There were two things that really hit me: 1) family and relationships really are what bring happiness and 2) the family really is in a positive feedback loop with the Gospel of Jesus Christ. In the family, we are allowed an opportunity to "learn correct principles in a loving atmosphere, and [prepare] for eternal life," and at the same time the the Gospel will bring happiness to any family (see Preach My Gospel, Chapter 3, Lesson 1, The Gospel Blesses Families, page 32).

Spending time with my younger siblings, whether actively engaged or simply sitting next to them on the couch as we read or typed or whatever, was and is a huge blessing. Not to mention massively hilarious. I don't think I've laughed as much as I have this week in months. The same goes for my parents, who are to me a stupefying example of adulthood, responsibility and general awesomeness every time I am blessed with the opportunity to spend time around them. In general, my time with my family was peaceful, happy and rejuvenating. 

Which is not to say that we didn't bicker from the first hour that we were back together again. It was in those moments that I realized how true PMG is in saying that "the home is the best place to teach, learn, and apply principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ." Because only there are we in such an environment that we are so relaxed that we are only our true natural selves. Without the lubrication of our social standards, we quickly start to grind on each other. I was surprised how short my patience with some of my siblings' habits and attitudes, and how quickly that got the better of me. Since I've gotten to university, I haven't had this kind of "trial," and even living 24/7 with a single person on my mission was not as hard.

Luckily, the family is also a place of forgiveness, unconditional love, and selective amnesia, especially with the Gospel of Jesus Christ around to encourage charity, compassion and repentance. Thus, though it is in the family that are true selves are exposed and broken, it is also in the family that they are refined, polished, and healed.

I am so grateful for my wonderful family and the opportunity I had to spend time around them this week. Not only was it an enjoyable and refreshing experience, but it was also a great opportunity to have some of my own faults and defects called to my attention so that I may work on improving myself.

14. Effectiveness in a Blended Learning Environment - Part IV: Create, don't regurgitate

Recap: in part three we discussed the advantages of a socially interactive learning environment. This post is a sort of an aside because it addresses the importance of this creative process in all forms of education, not solely the modern blended learning environment.


Imagine this scenario: you come to class. The professor lectures. You may or may not take furious notes, depending on the kind of student you are, as the professor spouts numbers, facts, figures, and other tidbits of information. Several weeks later, you find yourself in the testing center. Again depending on the kind of student you are, you've either committed these facts to memory, or have no idea which bubble on the sheet represents truth and which are false. You bubble in your choice, get your score, and leave. At which point you promptly cease to care about the facts and never think about them again.

Sound familiar? I'm willing to bet that pretty much everyone has had such an experience at one point or another. It's a pretty extreme example, but it's the basic idea behind an unfortunate number of courses we've all participated in. There are entire semesters of my life from which I don't recall anything - which isn't to say that I didn't learn something then, but simply that I didn't learn it right.

Not all of these classes were boring, either. Some, for example my high school biology class, actually are very interesting. Yet, I remember almost nothing that I learned in that class. Why? Because all I did was absorb information as it spewed forth from my textbook or instructor's mouth and then regurgitate it on the multiple choice tests. Put simply, my learning experience was composed only of memorization, and lacked any degree of understanding.

Understanding is the best way to retain learning. Often times we seem to think that repetition of the memorization phase alone is enough to ensure lasting learning. For instance, we may review flash cards for hours, or do hundreds of simple multiplication problems in elementary school. While repetition is useful in both phases of learning, concentrating too hard on only the memorization phase leads to short term memory. Knowledge must be applied to be useful, and information must be useful to be remembered.

Thus, in order to truly learn something, and learn it well, we should understand it. We should connect it to the world around us, see its various applications, and begin using them in our lives. While math classes can be some of the main classes for repetitious memorization, they are also some of the best examples of knowledge then being understood, built upon, and applied. For example, the multiplication tables I memorized without very deep understanding in the 3rd grade were second nature in the 6th because I then learned to utilize multiplication in algebra. The low likelihood of ever forgetting those simple times tables is not due solely to the fact that I've used them so many times, but also to the fact that I understand how to visualize and understand them in multiple ways and apply them in various settings.

This process of connecting the concepts to the world around us and then using it to solve problems can be termed creativity. Thus we have the creative paradigm of learning, and the regurgitative paradigm of learning.

Since I got to BYU, I have been relatively pleased with the amount of creative learning that we are encouraged to do. My favorite example from this semester is my economics class. While the course entails long hours of reading textbooks and memorizing formulae and laws, the learning process is also one of seeking understanding. On all of my homework and exams, I have not once been asked to regurgitate these economic theories. Instead, I spend hours every week applying them both to fictitious situations presented to me and contemporary events reported in mainstream economic newspapers.

I highly appreciate this type of learning. Though I may never take another formal economics course, I anticipate remembering the things I've learned in ECON110 for a long time, not simply because I have put many hours in, but because it is an effective education experience allowing me to apply my knowledge to the world around me, helping me understand it better and shaping my decisions.

This has unique implications for a blended learning environment, especially the flipped classroom. Because some of the teaching process is handed off to technological components, teachers may tend to a diminished sense of responsibility or enthusiasm in the learning process. This is a huge risk, as in my experience unenthused teachers are a main cause of regurgitative teaching and learning. Computers are not as creative as teachers, and thus teachers have a unique advantage in creating relevant, creative educational experiences. Using technology alone will likely lead to great initial memorization, but uncreative, shallow understanding of topics which will be of little value further down the road.

However, used effectively, technology can facilitate a teacher's involvement in the more creative understanding phase of learning by decreasing the teacher's involvement in the routine understanding phase. Thus as we transition into blended learning, it will be essential for us to design courses in such a way that we benefit, rather than lose, from this change in balance.